When developing an authentic relationship with your boss, the foundations of managing up are all still there: taking responsibility, adapting, and prioritizing work based on their feedback. Relationships are a push and pull - they require giving as much as taking. In the workplace, we might feel more inclined to give, but don’t forget that you can also take from your manager - namely, advice and experiences to help determine your next step and how to get there.
It might feel a little intimidating when you decide to start cultivating a more authentic relationship with your manager. Authenticity requires honesty, and bringing all of yourself to work. It’s also a significant factor in increasing your engagement at work - this study found that the more authentic you feel at work, the higher your performance and engagement are likely to be.
When having honest and authentic conversations at work, you don’t need to dive right into the deep end. Start small by sharing some more information in your weekly or bi-weekly 1-on-1s since they’re already a dedicated space to talk with your manager.
We’ve compiled a list of topics for you to start having honest and authentic conversations with your manager.
Are you energized by the type of work you’re doing? Or does your day seem to drag on endlessly while you wait for the clock to hit five so that you can close your laptop? Energizing tasks capitalize on your interest and engagement while giving you more mental and physical strength to complete tasks. Everybody’s definition of what energizes them is different, so it's essential to take notice of your day to day work to get a better sense of where your inspiration comes from.
Once you have a better idea of what kind of work brings you joy, bring this up to your manager in your next meeting. Something as simple as “I really loved working on that quarterly analysis. I was so engrossed in it that I dedicated extra time to dig into those additional insights to give the CMO some additional context in the meeting” helps your manager realize what types of work ignite that spark.
At the same time, it's important to realize the types of tasks that drain your energy. While it's unlikely that those tasks will be transferred to another team member (after all, we do still have to work), it’s equally important for your manager to have insight into the types of projects that are not as engaging. While you’ll still have to complete them, your manager might be more willing to offer additional resources and support for those projects that are more draining.
Your strengths at work are directly related to tasks that energize you and bring meaning to your day to day work life. Strengths are usually areas that you’ve cultivated expertise in, and so by nature, they would energize you more than a regular task. Studies show that when a team’s strengths are intentionally designed into the culture, employee performance increases by up to 38%. This means that it definitely benefits your boss to know your strengths and how to use them best.
One way to approach this conversation is to document what you perceive to be your strengths and bring them to your manager to discuss. You can ask for feedback to see if they agree with you or look for upcoming projects to flex your skillset. You can also suggest that your team complete the StrengthsFinder test so that you all have a better idea of how to utilize each other’s strengths and function more effectively as a group.
It’s just as important to hone in on areas of development. We all know to a certain extent where our weaker spots are and how we need to improve. By saying to your manager, “I’ve been working on this skill, but I’d love your feedback on how you think it’s going and what I can do to develop even further” you’re opening the door to more honest conversations about development. This kind of authenticity can only help you as you continue to learn and grow throughout your career.
What does your dream job look like - both inside and outside of the company? Have you identified any roles that seem interesting or that you’d like to learn more about? It’s important to look at the big picture when planning your own career. Your manager is in a place to help you achieve those goals by supporting your development and helping you to network.
It might be intimidating to talk about career goals with your manager, especially if your goals happen to lie outside of your team. However, a good manager is focused on their team’s career development even if it leads them to different roles outside the team.
These conversations should be woven into performance conversations throughout the year, such as check-ins and annual reviews. Career development is not something that comes up once a year. It’s an ongoing discussion that requires continuous planning and calibration. By keeping this line of communication open with your manager, you’ll have a better chance of them helping you get exactly where you want to go.
Our last tip is to show appreciation! Remember, managers are people too. Showing appreciation can go a long way towards developing a bond that helps you to truly connect with your manager, beyond standard one-on-ones and meetings. Don’t be afraid to reach out and have some honest conversations and ask for advice on how to handle situations, and then let them know how it worked out. Having authentic conversations might not happen overnight, but with some practice you’ll feel more comfortable engaging with your manager in a more authentic way.
Photo credit - katemangostar
BY Laura Iñiguez
BY Michelle Sheridan
BY Laura Iñiguez
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